I actively chose to stop saying I hated people after high school and it's improved my life a lot. When I slip and say it, it's absolutely always because I don't know how to communicate pain in the moment.
I am jealous of everyone who gets to spend time with you since I can't. I'm jealous that you get to hear my life but I can't hear yours. I'm jealous that your friends know all the stories about you and I don't. I'm jealous that I don't get to touch you.