my words

Living an unconscious life is rough. There’s more suffering, struggle, and self-sabotage. There’s less health, energy, and meaning. Life design opens up a new way of living. It’s not golden all the time, but generally, life is a whole lot better when you design your life the way you want it to be. Here are four […]

Explore the world. Make amazing friends. Design a life you love. On a Great Life retreat you will experience the wonder of the world, dive into the art and science of designing a life you love and add a dose of love to the world. If you are ready to press pause on life, reflect on what […]

The purpose of self-sabotage is to mitigate uncertainty. When we are facing the unknown or walking into unfamiliar territory, fear kicks in to protect us. Of course, most of the time, this happens unconsciously. We don’t intentionally sabotage ourselves. If it was intentional we would call it self-preservation. Self-sabotage is born from fear. We don’t ask […]

I believe in letting it be easy. Most of the time, if it doesn’t feel like ease I don’t do it. But, there are times when it is necessary to do hard things in order to honour what deeply matters. The question is not, what is easy? The question is, what matters most? If you […]

My 33rd year has passed and over 643 birthday blessings flew in from around the world – snail mail, voice notes, social posts. No note went unread. Your love went straight to my heart. Thank you. As per my newish tradition, here are … … 33 lines to wrap up my 33rd year. I am a […]

Even if your life looks the way you want it to look, you may not feel the way you want to feel. You might begin to wonder … Why did I accumulate all this stuff? Why did I say yes to the promotion? Why did I want the roles I wanted? Why don’t I feel […]

When our goals lack soul we feel burdened. Heavy. Trapped. Constantly seeking and never feeling satisfied, we race to achieve more. Unexamined goals prevent us from living a life we love. Here are five signs your goals need a little more soul. Your satisfaction is dependent on the outcome. If you’re focused on the end […]

When we are young, we are placed in a container by the judgments, labels, and expectations of others. As we grow up, our world asks us to define ourselves and commit to that definition before we really know ourselves. With such an impossible demand, it’s easy to unconsciously default to the judgments, labels, and expectations we were given when we […]

The more I study the psychology of love and fear, the more clearly I see that not loving enough and feeling unloved are at the foundation of all the problems in our world. Love is essential to life. Research from the field of evolutionary psychology tells us that love is necessary for cell growth — […]

For a long time I didn’t love myself. I tried to cover up my lack of self-love by winning awards, being the captain, and by being a good little over-achiever. I was an expert in the fine art of perception management. I was a chameleon. I would change myself to fit into my environment in order […]

You were three years old.It was an ordinary day. A rainbow of Lego scattered across the floor. In my best motherly voice, will you please clean up the Lego? You thought, for an ordinary moment. Only if you say the magic word. Confused. I thought I already did. What is the magic word? Confused. You […]

There was a time in my life when I felt responsible for the emotional pain of others. I thought if I didn’t share their burden, I was a bad friend, sister, daughter … human. Being acutely aware of, and feeling the pain of others can be a blessing and a curse — often it’s both. If you […]

I used to worry about being big and important and beautiful and loved. I used to want to shine so bright they could see my light on the other side of the world and every soul seeking a way out of the dark could find its way. I tried to live life as best I […]

Life pushes you to the edge. This is what life does. You push back to safe ground. Life pushes you to the edge. If I take the leap, I don’t think I’ll survive. You push back to safe ground. Dimming your light. Compromising. Playing nice. Repressing. Sacrificing. Numbing. Denying. Life pushes you to the edge. […]

Changing my mind is edgy for me because I value integrity. My mentor, Larry, taught me a valuable lesson about integrity. Here’s the quickie version of the story :: I rescheduled my weekly meeting with Larry four weeks in a row. When we finally met, he taught me how important it is to do what you […]

In my work with clients, one of the first things we untangle are limiting beliefs. I’m not worth it. I’m not good enough. I’m not loveable. There’s not enough time, money, energy. I’ll never get out of this place. Life is too hard. I’ll never be happy. I’m too {old, fat, young, uneducated} I need to […]