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she doesn't say...

I have a feeling this is me, in my new neighborhood Fuck - vintage retro funny quote

Not going to lie, I do a happy dance in my head when I see stuck up bitches from high school being all fatter than me. Winning!

Funny Confession Ecard: Not going to lie, I do a happy dance in my head when I see stuck up bitches from high school being all fatter than me. So true

You can't compete.  Lol.

Free and Funny Encouragement Ecard: I like that you try to compete with me - at least you have a goal. Unrealistic and unattainable, but it's a goal.

Napkins - Anne Taintor Drunk and Disorderly Funny Cocktail Beverage

Napkins - Anne Taintor Drunk and Disorderly Funny Cocktail Beverage -- me and my BFF.

Your Opinion about My Life - Paying Bills

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: If you ask me to hold your drink, I will drink it.

Every single day.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

story of my life, we're friends because we judge. it's our thing, some people shop, we judge.

derby de mayo hat - Google Search

Only your best friend understands that when you say "I saw my boyfriend today" you are referring to the hot guy that has no clue you exist.

BTW

Waterskiing in tutus. You're never too old to try something stupid. Vintage Collage Art by Anne Taintor.

e cards | Tumblr

Free and Funny Congratulations Ecard: As all our friends start popping out babies, let's go celebrate our empty wombs with frozen margaritas.

Yes I wish.....

Ah the joys of pms, menopause, and all other hormonally inspired behaviors. as fun to experience as they are to watch

Your Heart is an idiot.

Medically speaking, your heart is a complete idiot. Smart heart gets it. Smart heart knows how to beat.

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