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Im looking forward to trying not to have sex with you. And failing.

Free and Funny Thinking Of You Ecard: They say a glass of wine a day is good for you. The bottle is glass, right?

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. And the answer is YES!

When we're old and our husbands have died, will you promise to live with me so we can drink daily & keep each other comany?

When we're old and our husbands have died, will you promise to live with me so we can drink daily & keep each other company? (Except I'm never getting married. So let's just drink daily and keep each other company starting now.

good to know...@Samantha Watson

"The solution to a bad hair day is to wear a low cut blouse." Hey, it keeps people from looking at your hair.

I'm hysterical and brilliant, but not a size 2...God had to be fair.

Funny, smart, and tits & ass? Well yeah, someone has to be perfect -k

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"Just Keep Pinning," says Dory from Finding Nemo! Dory has got to be my favorite Disney character EVER! next to Ariel of course.

All these 9 year olds with iPhones, iPads, and laptops. When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.

All these 9 year olds with iPhones, iPads, and laptops. When I was I felt cool with my new markers. The crayon box with the built-in sharpener was the hippest thing ever invented back then

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

Day drinking

That feeling of obligation to day drunk when it's sunny and warm outside *haha yes*

AMEN!!It's about time someone said it...

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes things happen because you're stupid and make bad decisions. This is for many people I know

And all the people said, Amen!

Funny Christmas Season Ecard: It just isn't Christmas unless you push your body to the brink of alcholism and diabetes.

Party Inspiration and Molly Suzanne {$30 Shop Credit}

Mimosas // socially acceptable way to start partying at breakfast // brunch // ecard

Got wine corks?

Laughing cause I just pinned some cork craft ideas, and thought.gee, someone would need to drink a LOT of wine for that!

Sorry... I was only picking up what you were laying down, and so it slipped...

This is me and it always gets me in trouble. Why can't I keep my mouth shut. Does it really matter that everyone else is thinking it?

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