Explore Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Swan, and more!

With Jack Sparrow preferably.....but also with running water and a shower.....

I need a vacation. And by 'vacation' I mean I need to move away and find a new job. On a beach. With rum. a permanent staycation somewhere new. with lots and LOTS of rum.

I hate it when people say "everything happens for a reason"...no shite, it's called life. That's what life is, a series of happenings.

Darn right I'm a Bitter Infertile! - Page 42

Funny Confession Ecard: When you say everything happens for a reason, don't be surprised when I slap you in the face. It happened for a reason.

Tell em Jack!

One of my favorite quotes ever. "Where'd you learn to talk like that? Go sell crazy somewhere else, we are all stocked up here.

I don't understand how some women have 20 plus bridesmaids. I don't even like that many people. | Wedding Ecard | someecards.com

this is the most accurate thing ever. I don't get the whole bridesmaid thing, period. They get people they hardly ever talk to so it looks like they actually have friends.

Who am I kidding?? I take baths all the time!!

Sometimes I Take Baths Because It's Hard To Drink Wine In The Shower Wood Sign funny wine sign by NotTooShabbyChicHome on Etsy

Only kids count sheep to fall asleep. Count your debts, your mistakes, your heartache and cry yourself to sleep like a grownup!! ~ Joke All You Can

Sounds like how I go to sleep sometimes. Only kids count sheep to fall asleep. Count your debts, your mistakes, your heartache and cry yourself to sleep like a grownup!

Too true

All my friends are pinning weddings and babies. and I'm over here pinning tattoos and weird shit that makes me giggle and things for my FUTURE baby.

We all know the code words.

eCard: I'm going to let these pans soak. Otherwise known as, I don't feel like doing the dishes. This is so true and so me.

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